Week 73

Hi Mom

 Balzar's very known in this mission to be one of the hardest branches/wards to help get together, so perhaps that's why they put me and my buddy Elder Reilly here together, to see if we can work some magic here. So far, it's been working for the most part. The Branch President's got a lot of trust in us for all of the work we've put into helping him and the rest of the presidency.

So, yesterday was one of the most "unique" Sundays that I believe that I have had here in Balzar - if not, my mission. In the morning, after Sacrament Meeting, the little 8-year-old girl of our branch's first counselor fell after running around outside. She went to her dad, and then (out of NOWHERE) goes to me, begs me for some of the candy she knew I bring on Sundays to Church, and then begged me to pick her up. Super adorable kid, but it was totally out of nowhere that she went to me, haha. Later that evening, we had Branch Council. Our Relief Society President, for whatsoever reason, brought her nutcase daughter with her (who, by the way, went BALLISTIC the week before about not being able to use the Church's wi-fi to Skype Call her relatives in Spain. She's NUTS). Anyway, when we tried to schedule visits with her, she got all ticked at us. Whatever, we got too many women members here already, Elder Reilly and I say to each other, haha! She doesn't want to have as much success in her organization and calling, then she can't say later that we didn't try to help her do so. Oh well, just she'll just have to wait and see until Elder Reilly and I already get transferred away.

I've been including a lot in my prayers lately if God can help me find opportunities here in Balzar to loosen my tongue, and to touch the hearts of the people here, so that they can recognize us a little more easily as the servants of God that we both know that we've been called to be. Like the other missionaries have told us, it hasn't been the easiest place to work, but that hasn't stopped my companion and I to take a few initiatives, and show the members of this branch just how much we mean business. On my mission, I've learned more than anything about patience, perseverance, and the hope that there are blessings in store for those who sacrifice. I'm really grateful that we got to see this amazing couple get married (who Elder Reilly has been teaching since he got here 5 months ago, haha), and if nothing crazy happens, they'll be getting baptized this coming Saturday! We admittedly haven't been having the best of luck with contacting and finding new people to teach, but each day is a new day, filled to the brim with possibilities. I've been more than grateful for the love and support from everyone, and for the prayers. I'll be sure to send more pictures super soon, but it just slipped my mind to bring my camera cable again, haha! Sorry guys, but I'll promise to make it up to you. Until next week, just remember that Jesus WILL give blessings in due time (Moroni 7:33). I love you guys, take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

PS: I won't call "Arrow" Oliver, simply because I have a Recent Convert here in Balzar named Oliver, hahahahaha! Also, I'll leave the girls to call him Olly. Regardless, let that cute little guy know how excited I am to see him welcome me home in less than 7 months!!!

Week 72

I can't tell you how relieved I'm going to be to be coming home not too long from now, take an extremely long rest, and probably play with my dogs Clark and Oliver (I'll probably call him "Arrow", though, just because Green Arrow is awesome), and make restitution with everyone and everything that I should. I'd love to get my old job back, I'd love to continue on the Medicine Career Path in my education, and I'm not too worried about how beautiful and amazing my future family is going to be. I shouldn't probably get my head too wound up around these things, so I don't get too trunky. Especially because I still got a good 7 months to make the absolute most of the blessing I have of being here in Ecuador. The fact that I don't have too much time left here isn't going to affect the sincere desires in my heart to do what's right, and to "loosen my tongue, and declare glad tidings unto this generation." It's been such a humbling experience to be here, and I'll be sure to apply what I've learned and felt here in my life. I'm so very grateful for the prayers that have been said in my name, because it's made it a whole lot easier to continue to serve my Father in Heaven as diligently and faithfully as I ought to. I love you guys so much, and thank you so much for all of the love and support. Keep praying often, and just remember how much Jesus loves you!!! Take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

Week 71

Dear Mom,

First of all, thank you for telling me about Chloe. I can't lie to you and say that I didn't cry the minute I saw the pictures. It honestly makes me both sad and mad that I can't be there right now with the rest of you guys, but I know in my heart that it's the right thing for me to do, to be here serving the Lord. I hope the packages that you guys are sending me aren't getting "hopelessly lost in the mail", as the rest of the missionaries say about theirs. My companion and I have been finding and downloading a lot of Church Videos, in order to help the flow of the branch more. I even explained to President Riggins that we're not focusing nearly as much as we ought to be on finding and baptizing as we are on re-structuring the branch, and rescuing less active members. A set of the videos that we found to be useful both for us and for others in the future is the 12 Steps to Change. Obviously, the primary function of this list of videos is to help people recover from addictions, but another look at it helped the two of us see that it's just the Repentance Process, only extremely more... Potent. Obviously, something that I've been doing a lot of overlooking lately is how often we (even though we're missionaries) need to repent. Despite the fact that at this time, we're representatives of Jesus Christ, we're still humans. We still make mistakes, and I personally have found that this time that we have as the representatives of His Church makes it surprisingly easier to ask for His forgiveness.

Something that's peeved me since the beginning of my mission is probably something that has peeved a lot of other missionaries, I would think. What I'm talking about is how life doesn't slow down or stop while we're out here in the mission field. In the back of my head, I tended to think that not too much was going to happen while I was gone, and that I would end up coming back home after 2 years to find everything pretty much the same. After I heard about all of the changes that have happened (both good and bad), it threw me for quite the loop. However, it helped me learn that changes will occur in your life (regardless of your say-so), and you will have little to no control over them. That's just life. To say that I haven't thought before that some of these changes aren't fair would make me a liar. However, it also makes me soon realize that I am questioning my own free agency, and I am also questioning the will of God. Even though some of these changes appear to be irrational and unnecessary, there's no reason to believe that God has abandoned us because of them. Think about it. Though Jesus Christ was "perfect", he too questioned the will of His father, by asking, "My god, why hast thou forsaken me?" Being a missionary gives us time to carefully analyze what we teach, in addition to how we teach it. President Riggins showed me the comparison between Matthew 5, and the Book of Mormon equivalent in 3 Nephi. As he speaks to the Jews (as well as the other followers and listeners), he invites them to "be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father, which is in Heaven, is perfect." Yet, in 3 Nephi, he invites those here in the Americas in the same manner... But in this passage, He includes HIMSELF. The reason I learned why Jesus doesn't include himself before is because He was HUMAN. Though He be the Son of God, and came to atone and die for all our sins, He still CONDESCENDED, and both lived and died as a HUMAN. WE'RE NOT PERFECT. I beat myself up to this day for the fact that I'm not perfect. But, I learned that if I'm not going to be happy until I'm "perfect", then that's quite the lifelong goal. Things happen in our lives, many things. But if we open up our eyes to just how much God loves us, and how much Jesus Christ loves us, then the Atonement and Everlasting Gospel can carry us through even the most difficult of trials. I love you guys so much, and though it's been hard, thank you for all of the love and support that I've been able to receive through your guys' prayers. Until next week, just remember: JESUS LOVES YOU!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

Week 70

Hi, Mom. Last week was by far the most monstrous week that I personally have ever had to face in the mission field as of now. Monday and Tuesday we had Food Poisoning, Wednesday nearly all of our appointments just threw themselves out the window, Thursday we had to travel to Babahoyo for training, and we had to spend the night in VInces, so didn't get home until Friday morning. The rest of Friday was just like Wednesday, and we had to do a truckload of "weekly planning" on Saturday. Sunday was as slow as usual here, because we don't get to proselyte until after 6 in the afternoon. So, sorry that I'm writing a day late again. Yesterday, we went to Guayaquil for P-Day, and so I can talk to President Riggins about how I personally can spiritually progress more effectively and efficiently in my mission. He didn't schedule it; I actually did when we were in Babahoyo for a Zones Conference last week. I really wanted to talk to him especially about some things in my past that were keeping me from progressing now. President helped me see in our interview that I'm not perfect, I'm nowhere near perfect, and that I'll most likely never be the very definition of perfect (in this lifetime, anyway). He let me know that I've got to stop throwing myself under the bus for the fact that I'm not the perfect missionary, and there will be times where I can't save everyone I'd like to.

Being away from home for as long as I have (especially in such a unique place as Ecuador) has really thrown me for quite the loop before hurling me right into the real world. I miss you guys a ton, and I can't wait to show you guys when I come home in a few months just how much I've changed, how much I've spiritually grown, and how much I've learned. Until next week, I can't thank the both of you, as well as everyone else enough for the love and support that I've been given in order to be here and serve the Lord. Thank you so much for your prayers, and for going through the trials and tribulations along with me. I love you guys so much, but I can't re-pay you guys for the amount of love you've given me. Take care, and be strong for both of us.

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane Parke

PS Tell Clark that I love that cute little chubby dog. Also, please let me know if Chloe's passed on yet.

Week 69

Hi, Mom. So, first of all, I'm sorry that I'm writing you guys a day late, but I'm just going to be direct and say that both my companion and I were stuck in bed ALL DAY yesterday with Food Poisoning. We suspect that it was this pizza that we bought to celebrate the 3 baptisms that we had last Saturday night, because the following Sunday, we were not feeling so well after we got out of Church. Before we knew it, we had to go home and stop proselyting early at 7 at night (as opposed to our usual 9 or 9:30). We were both taking turns waking up every hour that following night to use the bathroom, and we couldn't even leave our house at all yesterday. It BY FAR took the cake for the worst P-Day that both of us have ever had (so far, anyway) in our missions. Don't worry, we're feeling a lot better today, and we should be able to leave after lunch at 1 to proselyte and preach the Gospel. So, while stricken with Food Poisoning, it gave me some time to think about some of the smaller details (and by smaller details, I mean the trunky details, hahaha). Someone once said, "You never know how much you love something or someone until they're gone (literally or figuratively)." It hasn't been easy to be away from home for 16 months now, especially because it's been the longest that I've ever been away from my home and my family. It's almost scared me to both see and hear how much things have changed while I've been gone, but it always makes me glad to hear that a lot of it has been for the better. I can't lie when I say that I might cry when I come off the plane in September and see my family again after 2 whole years. Being down here has been beyond a humbling experience, and there's no doubt that I'm going to be able to apply the things that I've learned and experienced down here in my personal life afterwards. I never knew that I had such a passion and a desire within me to help people that I've never even met before achieve the salvation that not many of them are certain when it comes to where to find it. Before my mission, I was insecure, depressed, and admittedly very lost in my life. It never occurred to me just how significant a role this restored Gospel and the Atonement of Jesus Christ played in my life. The other churches, I learned through a little bit of "research", have not quite grasped just how crucial the Repentance Process is in our lives, nor how if it weren't for the atoning sacrifice of the very loving, very merciful God of this world who gave His live for us all, we couldn't even fathom on returning to live in the presence of our Heavenly Father. We couldn't even fathom live after here on Earth, and we couldn't even be too sure if God even heard or answered our prayers and pleads for His help that we so obviously depend on. I've gained an extremely greater appreciation for what my Savior has done for me, and I'm even more grateful how I can better myself each and every day through His love, His mercy, and His grace. I love you guys so much, and I can't tell you guys how grateful I've been for the love and support that I've been given while I've been busy down here. Until next week, take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

PS: Love you guys! Tell Chloe I love her!

Week 68

Hi, Mom. So, this past week's been SUPER stressful for the both of us. First of all, I totally spaced on taking my camera cord with me to the cyber, because we decided to go to Daule (a city an hour and a half away with a shopping center, but is outside of the mission. Don't worry, we asked permission from President and he said it was okay) for us to go do a little shopping in the supermarket they have there. The main reason being so we can procure this coffee substitute (like the one we always have in our house) for a less active who has a slight coffee addiction. Don't worry, I promise you that I still have my camera, and I've been taking plenty of pictures and videos on it. It's kinda funny to hear that it's cold at home, because "Winter" here is one of the hottest times of the year. Even though it's been raining quite a bit lately, that doesn't do us any favors when it comes to how humid this country can potentially get. It feels as if we've become carrots placed in a vegetable steamer!

So, now that I've got three full weeks here in Balzar, I've now got a good feel of what's going on here, and how my companion an I make some magic happen here and turn the branch completely around if we play our cards right. The leaders here have really good hearts, but the thing is they don't seem to know how they can truly magnify and sanctify their callings as leaders, even though some of the ways have been staring them right in the face. Another thing is we have 4 very different guys who were at some time Branch Presidents here. So, they each have 4 different mindsets on how to make the branch be running smoother than it is right now. However, the four of us that have been called to serve here at this time will do whatever it takes in order to help these guys come together and help this branch (and all of the members in it) witness miracles. It won't be easy, but it's a sacrifice that we're willing to make. I love you guys a TON, and I apologize again for not remembering to send any photos or videos this week. Until next week, thanks again for all of the love, prayers, and support! Take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

Week 67 No Regrets 1/11/16

Hi, Mom. So, again, we don't got a ton of time to write and be here in the Cyber, because my companion Elder Reilly likes to be punctual for our appointments. It's AWESOME! Don't worry, I didn't get my camera stolen or lost. I just keep forgetting to take it with me, and leave it on my desk as we go out the door. I promise that I'm taking plenty of pictures and some videos for everyone to see on the blog. I'm not gonna lie to you, it's a blast being here with Elder Reilly in Balzar, but I can't help but feel... Discouraged. In addition to that, we had to participate in a Funeral Service this morning. It was sad to see all of the family of this nice old lady so full of despair for her parting from this world. I was giving LDS.org a look, and I gave this talk by President Uchtdorf a glance. It's a talk that he gave in 2012 about Regrets and Resolutions. The sub-points were what extremely caught my eye: "I wish I had spent more time with the people I love." "I wish I had lived up to my potential." However, my personal favorite was the last one: "I wish I had let myself be happier." Since I could remember (or at least, since I was 16 years old), I found myself to be  pessimistic, and always looked at my life as "half-empty". I couldn't help but ask myself questions, like "Why me?", and "What did I do to deserve this?" Looking back, I now find myself with the amount of humility that almost brings me to tears to be here. To believe that Jesus Christ had called me to be His respresentative, and preach His gospel makes me feel almost unworthy to do so. Yet, as I kneel down to say my prayers each night, I can't help but give my thanks for giving me such an opportunity to be here as His servant. I pray that I may continue to have the strength that I need to press onward, and hasten His great and marvelous work to the best of my abilities. I may not know which day shall be my last, but I'm going to make the absolute most of this life that He has given me. I can only hope that when the last day of my mission comes, that I won't be asking myself those questions of regret. Instead, I'll be grateful to have spent all the time I could with the people here that I love. I'll be glad that I lived and worked to my fullest potential. Lastly, I'll never feel more happier than I've been to be bidding such a unique country and experience goodbye. Without a doubt, these are two of the best years of my life. I await with anticipation what the future has in store, both during my mission as well as afterwards. I miss you guys, but I know in my heart that the sacrifices that we are both making at this time will be more than worth it. I love you guys so much, and thank you for all of the prayers and support. They're a world of help, and they let me know that even though I'm far, you guys are still close. Until next week, take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke