week 97!!!

Hi, Mom. 

So, I'm stressing out to the EXTREME, and I'd be lying through my teeth if I wasn't both happy, sad, and crying all the same while my time goes faster than my head can spin from it. However, I've found 101 ways to help me cope with it, but none of them seem to be the solution. Like I've said several times now, I'm scared as to what's going to happen - to my companion, to my converts, and to the rest of these super nice people that have become my friends, and practically my family away from my family. But, as my Patriarchal Blessing has directed me, and serve those around me. I've made my own homemade ice cream recipe, and used it to make ice cream to all of the missionaries in my district. I'll be sure to attach a photo for everyone to see on the blog. But regardless, it's still hard not to allow my heart to get split in two by the chance that I may never see some of these guys again. Granted, it's a bittersweet feeling, because of all of the opportunities and newly open doors that are waiting for me back home, but I promised myself that I'd at least make an effort to visit my converts (and a few other super nice families) in March, because they invited me to their sealings in the Temple. I'm giving it my all, but if it weren't for your guys' prayers, love, and support, there's no way I would have made it this far. I can't wait to see all of you guys again. Mom, Dad, Leilani, Auston, and Nika. I miss you guys a lot, and for that reason, I promise to give my all, until the very last day. Until next week, stay strong, stay true, and remember how much God loves you. Take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

week 96!!!

Hi, Mom.

So, I'm not going to lie. It's been quite the fight. Looking back, I just can't find the words to describe how much I've progressed physically, but especially spiritually. I've learned to not only study the scriptures, but love them. Preach My Gospel (the guide/manual we have as missionaries) is highly underestimated, as far as the things it teaches us and opens our eyes up to, concerning the potential we have as missionaries called of God. I can only hope to be able to continue to put to use the things that I have learned down here in Ecuador. Like I've already said, it's hard not to admit that it breaks my heart to leave all of the friends and families that I've come to know and love, and return to what I can't forget is my home. However, that won't change the fact that part of my heart will remain down here. Heheh, it's funny, because a lot of the people are asking me if I really am ever going to come back to Ecuador or not. I told them that it'll be too hard for me not to. Not too much has happened this week for me to report, but I'm happy to say that my companion, Elder Ames, is progressing a lot with me. I can only hope that he'll find the fire he needs to let others truly know how much he cares about their salvation, and how badly he's willing to give it his all in order to help them achieve it, as he says to me. Before I go, I just want to share a scripture that I found in my studies. I haven't memorized it yet, and I believe I've already shared it with Leilani. But, it's found in Doctrine and Covenants 18:44. I love what it says, and I've shared it with a fair amount of the Future Missionaries that have become my friends down here, as well. Until next week, I love you guys, and as the time keeps widdling down, I can't be more grateful for the love and support everyone's given me to help me make it this far. Thank you guys so much. Take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

week 95!!!

Hi, Mom.

Okay, first of all, I got the package (like I usually do after I say that I know it's waiting for me, but it's just not in my hands yet, haha). The other three missionaries that I live with basically went ham on it, only to find nothing of interest (to them, anyway). However, I was more than willing to share with them what was in it (with the exception of the money, of course, hahahaha). Regardless, I'm extremely grateful, and it almost scares me to believe that it's the last package that I'll receive before I go home. Every package that I've received in my mission has made me think of how I don't seem to deserve that kind of spoiling from back home when there are missionaries with families that are barely scraping by when it comes to money.

Something's been stirring in my heart... For quite some time now... And it's something that's brought me to tears a couple times... It's something, if I remember right, that a good friend of mine and a really strong missionary told me... And it's this: We can't save everyone. Five weeks left in my mission, and I can't help but think about all of those people here in my mission... All of those innocent people... That (1) I may never in my life get to see them again, and (2, and this sincerely scares me, to be perfectly honest) I possibly may never see them again at all, either. I apologize now if this sounds a little too dark or negative, but once I come to gain the personal testimony that I have of this Gospel, it's also made it a hundred times harder for me to believe that despite all of the liniency in the Plan of Salvation that there may still be people who won't inherit the Celestial Kingdom. I guess you could say that that's when you come to know just how true this Church and its teachings are when you feel that these people are more than just our weekly or even monthly goal (a number, if you will). I've come to love my mission more than I could've ever imagined, and I've come to love these people and desire their salvation more than anything in the "world" (by that, I mean, more than any worldly desire I could have, like money, for example). I pray (more than I ever have before) in my heart that these people, especially the people (missionaries and others alike, to be more specific) that I've come to not only know, but love as well, that I may see them again... Someday... But, to not end on a seemingly sour note, I couldn't tell you guys just how grateful I am for this once-in-a-lifetime chance that my Father in Heaven has given me to meet such amazing people, and for the testimony that He has blessed me with. I love you guys more than words can describe, and despite having only 5 weeks left, I still miss you guys a lot. Until next week, never forget how blessed we are - all of us are - to have this restored Gospel, and for it to be a part of our lives. Take care!!! And thank you... For everything.

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

week 94!!!

Hi, Mom. 

As I draw closer and closer to the end of my mission, I can't help but look back and see all of the people here that have become my friends - or rather, that I've come to care about. I've recently been opening my eyes to the fact that this has been almost quite literally a once-in-a-lifetime chance to have come here to Ecuador and preach the Gospel as a representative of the lord Jesus Christ. I couldn't be more grateful for the things that I've learned, for the person that I've become, and for the people I've met. Though my mission hasn't been the easiest (and I know I've not stressed saying that enough), I know that my Savior loves me, I know that God loves me, and I know that the things that I have learned in my mission I wouldn't have learned if it weren't for the miracles - both big and small - that I have been a witness of. I'll be sure to attach a picture of my companion, Elder Ames from South Dakota for everyone to see on the blog. He's super chill, but he hasn't yet received a strong testimony of the Missionary Work, so as a result, things such as appointments falling through seem to discourage him easily. I've personally learned that looking for opportunities to serve has really helped strengthen and fortify my testimony of the Work, because it's helped me remember again and again that I've been "called to SERVE." It won't be a problem for me to give my Homecoming Talk, especially after being given the testimony that I've been blessed with by God. Peñon (pronounced pen-eeown, by the way for those that were probably asking) isn't the easiest sector, but like President Riggins assures me, it sure makes it hard for me to think about going home from all of the work that needs to get done there, hahahahaha! This isn't going to be a super long entry, but allow me to close it by reciting the final verse of probably my favorite hymn, "The Day Dawn is Breaking". It goes like this: "Then pure and supernal, our friendship eternal, With Jesus we'll live, and his counsels obey. Until ev'ry nation will join in salvation, And worship the Lord of the beautiful day." It helps remind of all of the amazing friends (missionaries and people of Ecuador alike) that I've come to make these past 22 months, and how special I find them to be. Until next week, I'm super glad to hear all of the awesome changes, even though it gives me a little heartache to come back to a home so different, haha! I love you guys, and I can't to see you guys in absolutely no time at all now. Take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

week 93!!!

Hi, Mom. 

Sorry for writing so late. I had to travel from Duran to Guayaquil and back to Duran in order to have an interview with President Riggins and renew my Temple Recommend (it was expired), so I can attend the Temple this coming Friday with my companion and my new ward of Peñon del Rio. That's right, like my title implies, I got transferred after being in Oramas Gonzales for only 3 weeks. Again, I didn't do anything wrong, it was because President found it good that we had the companions we do, but it would be slightly better for both ends if I simply swapped companions, even though I'm still living in the same house, and still working in the same zone. It's been a little difficult, because my new companion, Elder Ames from South Dakota, is still learning Spanish, he's a little awkward and nervous still (despite having almost 11 months in the mission), and he doesn't seem to be too excited to be here (or at least, not nearly as excited as I am to be here, which is hard to compare to, hahahahaha). Still, I'm grateful to be with him, I love all of my companions, and President did mention to me in my previous interview last week that it's very probable that I will be ending my mission both in Peñon and with Elder Ames as my last companion. For that reason, I'm a little stressed trying to make every waking moment of every day count by teaching, finding people to teach, and helping my new companion become the "superweapon AKA extraordinary missionary" that President believes I can help him become. Prior to that, I've been finding a little more joy from taking a more closer look at the little things, searching for ways to serve the other missionaries I live with (making them breakfast, shining their shoes, etc.) (which I might add has seemed to improve my relationship with them, as far as them telling me how awesome my french toast is). Regardless, I've been trying my absolute best to make my time count. Peñon, I have to admit, isn't the best of wards, and it also makes me wonder how it's still a ward and not a branch from the lack of missionary work. It makes me scared, because an illusion that I've come to know as a tool of Satan during my mission is that the wards I've served in do better after I left, or in other words, without me. It makes me discouraged, but the power of prayer and my personal diligence and faithfulness has been making it easier and easier to endure to the end. Even though my mission has been crazy difficult personally, I couldn't be more grateful to have been given the chance to serve, to become the person I am now, and for the Spirit and love I've been able to feel these past 22 months. I love you guys, thanks so much for the love, the prayers, and support, and until next week, just remember: "Tomorrow will do wonders among you." Take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

week 92!!!!

Hi, Mom and Dad. So, this past week has been BEYOND difficult, and not because of my companion. Surprisingly, things are getting better between us (more or less, but beggars can't be choosers). However, things aren't looking to well for where I'm serving, which is Ward Oramas Gonzalez. This past Sunday had to have been the biggest (I hate to say it in this manner, but) joke I believe I have ever seen on my mission. It was extremely irreverent until the very end, and don't even get me started on the Ward Council meeting that we had afterwards. It was an hour and a half of us going back and forth with the Bishop, and the Relief Society President (which just so happens to be the Bishop's sister) about a topic as ridiculous as our lunches that the ward is providing us with. Then, the bishop assured us that tracting (or knocking doors) "gives us memorable experiences", and also "builds character." I hate to sound as short-fused as I do, but I only have 2 months left before I'm on a plane back to the United States. I've nearly had my personal fill of spiritual experiences (of which I'm grateful for, might I add). However, this is definitely not the case. What I think they need to come to know is that we're not eating at member's houses simply because we're hungry, and we also want to bless their families. Actually, the main reason we come to these hospitable members' houses is not only to bless their families, but to receive any referrals that they ought to have for us. Even if it simply be them pointing across the street and asking us to try their "neighbors", then that's perfectly fine with us. I however learned that we easily have 5 or so "back-ups" if our lunch does just so happen to fall through, which again gives me the right to draw the conclusion that the necessity for us eating is not the case. Not only that, but there is a very prominent lack of fellowshipping in this ward, especially if the most I've seen them have here for their attendance was their Ward Conference, with 125 attendance. I pray that they get their acts together, otherwise, President's going to take a look at our numbers and take us both out from the very obvious lack of progress in our sector. It's heartbreaking to see or hear about a sector getting closed for those kinds of reasons as opposed to the clear other side of the spectrum (they're too self-sufficient concerning the Home Teachers, Visiting Teachers, Self-Sufficiency Classes, and other methods of Fellowshipping that all wards around the world ought to have in their arsenals and at their disposals. No matter, I guess. The best my companion and I could to is just keep doing our best, and face the music. Whatever happens, we both know that it's not our fault, but I would hate to have that slight feeling that we could've been able to at least speak up and say something. But again, I'm not one to step outside of my line of authority that we have as missionaries. I love you guys, I miss you guys, and I have to apologize for the lack of pictures, because I lost my battery charger after getting transferred from Balzar. I'll try my best to take as many pictures as I can (and to send them for those reading the blog), but until next week, keep praying often, and remember how much Jesus loves you! Take care!!!

Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke

 I love you guys!!!

Week 91

Hi, Mom. So, I learned this past week that this ward needs far more help than I initially thought it needed. My companion does talk to me a little more, simply because I'm willing to go out of the way and build some unity between us, as opposed to us having an awkward companionship until either we get transfers or I go home. If there's anything that I could let him know, it's that I love all of my companions, no matter how much they may or may not like me, but I know leaving those kinds of feelings to stir inside of me aren't going to help anyone (especially me). So, just as a quick little summary, I'm a little stressed out (if you guys couldn't tell), because my mind's just been all over the place, thinking about my companion, my sector, my family/home, and just thinking about how I can not lose my marbles before I come home this September. However, so as not to end this e-mail on a sour note, I just want to give a big shout-out to back home by saying HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!!! I do have plans to make us some of these burgers that I found in the supermarket here in Durán, so maybe that'll help break the ice and tension that's a little uncomfortably prominent between Elder Ames and I (the Gringos) and our companions, who just so happen to both be from Peru. I am a bit bitter about not being able to see some explosions, but I honestly wouldn't trade this Work for absolutely anything in the world. I'm so grateful for the things that the mission has opened my eyes up to, and I even felt prompted to bear my testimony about it yesterday. I would like to give another huge thank you for all of the love, the prayers, and the support that everyone's given me during my mission, because I truly feel like I never would've made it even this far if it weren't for everyone. Thank you guys so much, and until next week, take care!!!


Con Sinceridad y Amor,

Elder Conner Duane "Poderoso" Parke